Moment of Silence
by Lord Onisyr
Summary: Minutes after L's death, Soichiro Yagami takes a silent vigil beside the young detective's body while taking some much-needed reflection.


Moment of Silence

**Moment of Silence**

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters are the property of Tsugumi Ohba, Takeshi Obata, and Viz Media. I don't own them; I'm just examining all their possibilities.

Author's Note: This is my first Death Note fic, so kindness is appreciated. The story is based on the manga and contains huge spoilers for those who haven't read up to Chapter 58.

Dr. Jiro Yoshida's appearance in the waiting room looked more akin to a death march; his green scrubs swishing with each careful step as his weathered face bore a pained expression.

Soichiro knew that walk well and had used it many times himself while seeing surgeons and emergency room doctors take the same gait while approaching family members.

He knew to expect this, though he wrung his hands as the veteran emergency physician approached and stood in front of him. Soichiro's mind almost childishly begged who ever was listening that this wasn't true.

"I'm sorry, Chief," Yoshida said with a heaving sigh. "He's gone."

Soichiro gave his own sigh and a patient nod, grabbing his hands harder to keep them from shaking.

"We made a few more attempts to restart Mr. Ryuzaki's heart, though it was clear shortly after they brought him in that he had probably died before the ambulance arrived," the doctor continued.

"You at least gave it one more try, and I thank you for that," Soichiro said with a bowing nod. He unclasped his hands and placed them on his knees while straining his legs to come to a stand. He wasn't moving like he used to and the past few months had only made everything worse. "I wish to see him...take my own look at his body to determine myself if his death was anything relevant to our investigation."

"Of course, sir," Yoshida said with a knowing, yet sympathetic smile as he removed his green hat from his gray hair.

Chief Yagami's request was personal as much as it was in the name of police duty. The police service was a brotherhood and losing one member, not to mention a young man who died so suddenly, was a searing ache.

He motioned for the Chief to follow and Soichiro nodded, walking closely behind down the impeccably white corridor though feeling barely able to keep up. His stomach churned and his head throbbed as his hands took more of a shake, though he kept them closer to his sides.

This cannot be true, Soichiro told himself repeatedly despite all knowledge that this fate would meet Kira's main investigator. Ryuzaki himself seemed resigned to that fact; not welcoming of it yet not entirely scared of it either.

"We will want an autopsy performed," Soichiro said, keeping his voice even lest it crack. He knew what the results would be, though this was a major development in the Kira case and all evidence and documentation was needed.

"Of course sir," Yoshida said as they turned a corner in the corridor, passing by an elderly woman in a wheelchair and a teenage boy with a cast on his leg lying in a gurney and talking to his parents.

"There will be no mention of this to the media," Soichiro said, walking closer to the doctor and speaking directly in his ear. "All matters must be kept absolutely secret."

"Yes sir," he replied. "Have you notified his next of kin?"

"We have not even identified them yet," Soichiro said with a sad smile. "Though we will find someone close to Mr. Ryuzaki."

Did Ryuzaki have any family? Watari seemed to be the only person he had in the world, though Watari died seconds before him; maybe leaving him truly alone.

It was why Soichiro gave no thought to accompanying him in the ambulance. Someone needed to be there for him in this critical moment.

Though he had Light; Soichiro remembered Ryuzaki calling his son his only friend even though, for whatever reason, he strongly suspected him of being Kira. Ryuzaki had put him under surveillance, agreed to his confinement, and insisted on being handcuffed to him while suspecting him of being Kira, yet Soichiro saw a closeness between the two. Even the way they would fight was more like two boys sparring than hate coming to blows.

Light's agonized scream while holding Ryuzaki's limp body in his arms sounded through Soichiro's mind; a moment that had bore through his memory and would remain there for eternity.

He would have to tell Light his friend was dead, a reality that made his hands shake a little harder.

Misa would also want to know as she seemed as much friends with Ryuzaki as Light was, though that announcement would have to wait a little while longer. This had to stay strictly with the police for now, though Miss Amane would probably learn of Ryuzaki's death through Light and Soichiro would have few objections.

Soichiro's thoughts were interrupted by the sight of a large sign on the wall reading "Emergency Department." Dr. Yoshida walked a few steps ahead toward the double doors and Soichiro followed in step, trying not to look through the clear glass windows into the emergency room.

He strained his neck and tried to look at the floor, though all efforts were futile. He had to get at least one look now.

Soichiro's eyes slowly went from the floor inside the brightly lit room and the mass of gurneys and curtains inside. It was a slow night in the emergency room with only a few people lying on gurneys and most were elderly or younger people with minor injuries from some sort of accident.

The sight of a mass of unkempt black hair against a white pillow near the corner made Soichiro stop in his tracks. He saw the doctor stop and take a few steps aside from the corner of his eye, though Ryuzaki was all he could see. His corner seemed a little darker, mostly because of the curtains around him, though Soichiro saw him clearly.

A nurse peeled off the round patches on his chest that had been connected to a heart monitor as another nurse removed the IV needle. The breathing tube was still down his throat, though was he only thing marring the look of absolute peace on his face.

Soichiro grabbed the railing on the side of the hall and steadied himself, feeling his composure slipping away. Maybe he needed let his emotions out, he thought. One could only look professional for so long until the façade cracked and it was cracking rapidly for him.

This was the culmination of everything he had gone through in the past few months and everything was crashing down. His own mild heart attack should have been his breaking point, yet even then he remained ever vigilant.

Then the world spiraled; his and Light's confinement was the beginning, then there was appearance of the Shinigami and the revelation of the Death Note. All of it was crashing down and Ryuzaki's death seemed like the final, horrible note.

Though Soichiro was still alive; he had only realized the implications of that fact just now. Kira killed Watari and Ryuzaki and Light screamed in his moment of grief and terror that all of them would die next. Soichiro was still alive and could only assume, or at least hope, Kira had not set his sights on Light and the other investigators.

Everything was now quiet, the calm before the storm or the final resolution. Maybe Kira had what he wanted with L's death, or maybe the worse was to come for all of them.

For Soichiro, the eye of the storm was a hospital hallway and the sight of a young man's body.

A nurse tilted Ryuzaki's head back and slowly pulled out the long tube the paramedics slid down his throat in the ambulance during their efforts to save him.

One pumped air into his lungs while another pressed hard on his chest. Soichiro had watched all of it, silently calling to the gods that Ryuzaki would live. With every chest compression, every shot of adrenaline into his heart, every electric jolt, Soichiro mentally begged to hear the sickening electronic whine of the monitor turn into gentle blips with the new beat of his heart.

He knew from the moment Ryuzaki collapsed, however, his time was up and likely by the hands of Kira and a Shinigami.

Through everything, a look of perpetual peace never left Ryuzaki's young face. He looked relaxed, accepting of his fate in the end.

The nurse set the tube on a nearby table and gently wiped Ryuzaki's lips with a piece of gauze. Ryuzaki's head settled slightly to the side, his mouth forming into that same slight smile he had after falling in Light's arms.

Soichiro gave a hard, clearing sigh, collecting his nerves enough to push himself back to a full stand. He looked at the doctor, who still stood a few steps away; keeping his gaze to the side and waiting for the Chief yet not wanting to stare at him in his moment of sadness.

Soichiro adjusted his tie and cleared his throat. Dr. Yoshida looked at him, Soichiro nodding and motioning toward the doors of the emergency room.

Yoshida gently pushed the double doors open, waiting for Chief Yagami to follow him through as they both walked toward Ryuzaki. A nurse put a bed sheet over his legs and pulled it up to the middle of his chest, giving Soichiro a soft look and a nod to the doctor before walking away.

"Do you wish to be alone?" Yoshida asked.

Soichiro nodded, his gaze falling down to Ryuzaki as he saw the doctor walk away from the corner of his eye.

Ryuzaki's agile bare feet poked from under the sheet with the cuff of his faded blue jeans. The white, long-sleeved t-shirt he was always fond of wearing had been cut off in the ambulance, showing a thin, yet tone build.

Judging by the way he had fought with Light, Ryuzaki had been trained in martial arts and Light had told his father L was a worthy tennis opponent. Soichiro smiled despite himself; the young man managed to keep fit even though all he ever seemed to eat were pastries and a variety of other sweets. He swore he saw Ryuzaki eating a few rice rolls on occasion; sneaking them like any young boy would sneak cookies before dinner.

It was all the perpetual enigma that was Ryuzaki, or L as he was famously known. No one even knew his real name and Soichiro was one of the rare few to even see his face. Now his last few hours were spent in a normally busy city emergency room; though ultimately in death he was only a flesh and blood person despite all the mysteries.

Ryuzaki's normally pale complexion was now bone white, the dark circles around his eyes more pronounced. Soichiro could not peel his gaze from his relaxed face and that peaceful smile. It was too fitting Ryuzaki would look this way in death; his manner was serene though with an underlying intensity. Now that intensity was gone, leaving only peace.

Soichiro's hand rested on the gurney as he became more aware that he legs were threatening to give out. The heaviness in the back of his throat and behind is eyes became more pronounced.

His shaking hand slowly crept under the sheet as he gently clasped Ryuzaki's limp hand; the palm was still warm, though the rest of his flesh had already cooled. Soichiro supported his weight on the gurney with his other hand as he clutched Ryuzaki's hand harder.

Soichiro sighed, though it came out as a gentle sob. The time to remain perfectly composed had to pause at some point; this fact was only clear given everything happening. Despite every deep urge to keep decorum, Soichiro knew locking everything in all the time would destroy him; maybe that was what Kira wanted.

A few more gentle sobs escaped him as tears welled in his eyes and pooled around the lower frame of his glasses before trailing down his cheeks.

Soichiro looked on Ryuzaki's face and for a moment saw a little bit of Light there. Ryuzaki couldn't have been much older than his son, a fact that made Soichiro's tears fall a bit more freely.

"Damn you, Kira," he whispered to himself amidst quiet sobs. "Damn you, Shinigami."

He would find Kira and bring him to justice. It was a vow he made to himself, to Ryuzaki, to Light, to the world.

L's death would have to be kept quiet and he knew Light would want to take L's role as his friend and a man dedicated to seeing Kira taken down. He was just 18, though had wits and intelligence beyond his years.

This abomination would be stopped and Ryuzaki would be avenged.

Soichiro's sobs slowly calmed into even breaths. He closed his eyes and felt a deep sense of quiet, despite the crackling voice over the hospital intercom, the conversations around him, and the harsh reality of what he had to face next. It was a calm he needed, a moment to clear his mind and compose his senses.

He opened his eyes and gently released Ryuzaki's cold hand before coming to a full stand.

Both hands clutched the top of the sheet covering half of Ryuzaki's body.

"It has been a pleasure, Ryuzaki-san," he said with a small smile. "Be at rest."

Soichiro gently pulled the sheet over L's body, taking one last lingering look at his peaceful face before covering his head.


End file.
